Yesterday it finally hit me that I'm graduating in two months and have no job. This fact didn't hit me as a wave of pure panic, just as a fact that hadn't yet occurred to me. I think I should be more nervous about it, but I'm pretty serene. I don't know why. I think about how I've freaked out so many times in the past and it's always turned out fine, so why worry this time? Something will turn up. I am not merely a leaf being blown in the wind.
That said, I did take some time yesterday to think about what I should do when they kick me out of the University of Iowa. I thought about it on the bus, where I do most of my good thinking. The bus is fun. I can watch people, and the same people usually get off and on, so I can watch them over time. I know when the lady who smells funny is going to get on, so I try not to sit near where she will sit.
While thinking on the bus, I decided that if I can't get a job, I might move to Des Moines and try to be a freelancer for a year. I would of course be trying to get a job at the same time. And I could work some crap job too, I suppose. I don't want to live anywhere smaller than Des Moines, for now at least. If you want things to happen, you have to go where things are happening. Not that all that much happens in Des Moines, but it's the whole big fish small pond idea.
Not that I'm a big fish. But I could be a lot bigger fish in Des Moines than I could in Chicago. My sister wants to own Des Moines. She wants to go into commercial real estate and fight her way to the top. I want to go into journalism and fight my way to the top. Maybe we can own Des Moines together. Or at least rent a two bedroom for a year.
That's what I thought on the bus.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
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