Things I Do When I'm Alone:

Eat chocolate pudding straight out of the carton.
Play Nintendo for hours at a time.
Stare at my face in the mirror, trying to make sense of it.
Watch CNN.
Watch Audrey Hepburn movies and wish I was her.
Look up information about dogs on the American Kennel Club web site.
Make up little songs while I wash the dishes, usually on the syllable "da."

That's all I can think of that I care to share right now. What do you do when you're alone?

Heeeeeere trouty trouty trouty!

Missouri Adventures

Last Thursday I was introduced to the rainbow trout. Our meeting place was a stream off the Niangua River in Missouri. The time was 5:45 a.m. I wore green rubber waders four sizes too big with suspenders. The trout wore nothing. I tried my best to coax a trout onto my hook, but the trout were much too smart for me. Plus I don't know what I would have done if I'd have caught one--most likely run around trying to find someone willing to take it off the hook, by which time it would have been dead. Not that I have a lot of sympathy for trout, though they are smart and speedy. But they are cannibals. After a better fisherperson than me caught a trout, he cleaned it right there by the side of the stream and threw the guts into the water, where they were promptly carried off by other trout and devoured. Gross. I ate some trout too, for breakfast at 10:30. Yep, that's right. Fishing time lasted three and a half hours. I quit a teensy bit early and took pictures of the trout, since I couldn't catch any. Most of the people in the stream didn't seem to tire of trying to catch trout. They are still there now, in the dark, casting their lines over and over, muttering in low voices about how this time the trout will bite.

Christian Women sans Babies

Yep, they exist. No, seriously. I'm not joking. Check it out.

Women in the Church: One Woman's Thoughts

Lately I've been thinking a lot about women in the Christian church. As a woman and a Christian, I'm concerned. I'm just thinking in print here, so don't get all uptight, but I don't think I can agree with people who say women shouldn't be pastors or ministers. I can respect them, because I understand why they believe what they do, but at this point I can't agree.

I don't see good enough evidence that women shouldn't have these roles. Some say that traditionally women weren't pastors. Well, I don't say this callously, but so what? If, since the time Jesus appeared on earth, we've been learning and moving toward the kingdom, then maybe we should learn that women can lead the church. And, of course, disciples have traditionally been slow learners. Maybe it's just another case of "You thick people! Don't you understand yet?"

Really, I don't see any other substantial arguments except the one for tradition. The parts in the Bible dealing with women in the church most likely dealt with preserving the status quo of the time. The passages that say the man should be the head deal specifically with a marriage situation. I just don't see a good enough argument for keeping women out of pastor roles. I think the main reason we balk is that we aren't used to it. We can't imagine a woman minister, so of course it feels strange. And I'm not saying that any woman could be a minister. As with men, it takes a special gift and calling. And if a woman has that, I see no reason to not let her use it.

Perhaps I am wrong. I'm only saying what I feel makes the most sense in light of my understanding of Jesus.

People often become very emotional over this topic. Actually, people often become very emotional over many discussions about church issues. I can appreciate that, though I rarely feel that way myself. While the issues are very important to me, and I spend a great deal of time thinking about them, I don't feel that all the passion we give to these issues is always justified. Airing feelings honestly is the only way to grow. I don't think that discussion and disagreement offend God. He is more mighty than that. Of course, we should try to agree and work towards reconciliation, but I think we should do it by honestly trying to see the other side and then, if we can't agree, at least agree to not stop communicating.

Words of the Day

It often happens that after I encounter a word I don't know and look it up, that word starts appearing everywhere. It happened with "peripatetic." I'd never heard of it, but it was on the GRE. I looked it up as soon as I got home and found that it means "walking or moving about; not staying in one place, itinerant," according to Webster. After that I came across that word no less than ten times in the following year. It still pops up regularly. Maybe I'm just more sensitive to the word, but it really seems as if it came out of nowhere.

The same thing happened with "schadenfreude" (enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others). This time I saw the word yesterday for the first time, then I read it again today in a textbook for class! Does this happen to you? Is it a world-wide phenomena? It like it when it happens--it makes me feel as if the world is operating on some sort of pattern.

What is Wrong with People?

That, my friends, is the question. When people say they will do something, their word doesn't mean anything. Seriously, I don't trust anyone anymore. It's sad, but it's true. Let me tell you my story:

I thought it would be fun for the journalism grad students to get together for drinks tonight downtown. So, I talked to people and sent out an email. I had three people tell me to my face that they would definitely be there. So, I waited and waited and waited and waited, and finally the doorman asked me if I was okay, so I thought I'd better leave. What is wrong with people who don't want to go out and have a fun night? I know some of these people are just sitting at home.

You know what the saddest part is? I'm not even surprised that no one showed up.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is just one long string of disasters. I know I shouldn't say that because some people have real problems, like war and famine and abuse. But it would make my year if just ONE thing could go right. That would be friggin' fantastic.

Iowa Optimism

Here are links to some stories about Iowa. They show that we are starting to head in the right direction. Some people will say that they don't prove anything, that there are ways to discount what they say. Maybe they don't prove anything, but they are hopeful. I choose to have an optimistic attitude. But, some people will always be pessimists. That's their loss.

The new urban hierarchy: Future is shifting to second-tier cities

Census figures reflect increase in Iowans in their 20s

Iowa sees nation's second highest increase in income

Dyeing the river green in Chicago for St. Patrick's Day. I was quite thrilled.

Weather

This blog might be getting a little photo-heavy, but I have a digital camera now and want to take pictures all the time. Everybody likes pictures anyway.

Today I realized something: I actually enjoy talking about the weather. Perhaps it's in my genes as an Iowan, or maybe people in all states like to talk weather, but I'm fascinated by the conditions outside. This morning while waiting for the bus, I talked weather with this guy who also waits for the bus. We generally always discuss the temperature since we have to stand outside, by the highway no less, for five minutes each morning. (An aside about why I hate standing by the highway: First, the cars and trucks whiz by at 60 mph and sometimes kick up a lot of dust that blows on me. Second, the trucks honk at me. Third, it's just kind of ugly there. But, on the plus side, an orange cat lives in the ditch by the highway and I watch it sometimes.)

In the spring, each day's weather is exciting and different, so there is plenty to talk about. Today it was windy and cold. Yesterday it was nice and warm. Tomorrow it might be snowing. I think the bus stop guy likes weather, too, because he spoke with real amazement about it being cold today. That's the key you know. You have to believe that constantly commenting on the weather will force it to change. I also believe that if I check the forecast on the Weather Channel online enough times, it will get better, i.e. warmer.

Spring break is over, so it is officially the time when Laura gets spring fever. It affects me quite badly. I start to daydream about eating Tropical Snow and and getting my hair cut.

It Might as Well be Spring--Seriously, why wait?

Sunday it was spring. Actually, it was the first day of spring. It was 70 degrees; the sun shone bright and warmed my skin. A light breeze stirred the brittle grasses that lay in wait for the new to sprout up and displace them. But on Monday it was winter again. The high was 38 degrees and gobs of slush fell from the sky, as if some terrible giantess kept blowing her nose, farmer style, toward the earth. I have never seen a farmer doing this, though no doubt some of them do. What would you do alone in a field, miles from the nearest tissue? But the point is, it was miserable on Monday, and the splendor of Sunday made the cold that much more unbearable. You see, in Iowa there are many first days of spring every year. They generally start in March and continue until June, when spring finally comes at last and ceases to taunt us like a child showing a cat a tasty bit of hotdog, then whipping it behind his back.

So, in protest of this delay, I've decided to behave as if spring has come in earnest. I painted my fingernails pink and, tomorrow, I plan on wearing a pink top. I refuse to wear my winter coat any longer. I plan on buying an ice cream tomorrow and eating it as I wait for the bus. If necessary, I will eat it in the snow. I will eat it just for show. I will not rest till winter leaves. For spring is here, if you believe.

The inside of my grandparents' barn. Very old--about 100 years.

What Every Iowan Must Read!

"Keeping Iowa's Young Folks at Home After They've Seen Minnesota." Read it before the seven days are up! This article was the most emailed today on the New York Times online. I think it hits the nail on the head--what do you think? Of course, the main problem with Iowa is that it lacks a major metropolitan area. But I would hate to see a string of suburbs across the state's midsection. Actually, there are a few reasons I think Des Moines might take off in the next ten years, but I don't have time to detail them now. To be continued . . .

Downtown Iowa City on the nicest day of February.

New link

Since the New York Times link to the IQ story is expired, I posted a new link to the British Times that I think ran the original story. It's worth a read.

Is society short-changing boys?

A story in The Detroit News says boys are falling behind academically. Teachers expect boys to sit quietly in class like the girls, not accounting for the fact that boys and girls mature at a different pace. But, later on in high school, girls get the shaft when they are seen as unfeminine for speaking up in class. What to do?

I would have to think long and hard about sending my child of either gender to public schools. I think public schooling teaches toughness and real-world coping skills, but there are so many negatives, such as incompetent teachers and misplaced priorities. Home-schooling or private schools might be good alternatives, but who has the time or the money? Maybe single-gender elementary schools are the way to go. I think I would have benefited from that environment. Then boys can be boys and girls can be girls.

This whole topic makes me wonder when I internalized the idea that smart isn't cool for girls. I think it was at a very young age, though I can't remember a specific instance. (If you've been reading my posts, you can see that I've never gotten over this.) In elementary school I always wanted to be pretty--it was my greatest aspiration. I wanted to be a scientist--but I wanted to be pretty more. I thought of a career as something you did, but being attractive as something you were. It was only much later that I finally realized that being pretty wasn't enough--I had thought it was. It really doesn't make anything easier.

So everyone, male and female, is permanently screwed up. I guess that makes things even.

Women's chance for marriage drops as their IQ rises

That's what a recent British study found. Read about it at these sites: Times Online and Yahoo News. Seriously--read the the Times story at least.

Sometimes I wonder if our society's need to make men and women exactly the same has made us want to reinforce stereotypes even more. Men know they want a woman who is different from a man, but they don't know what that means anymore, so they are drawn to subservient women or ultra-feminine women who make the distinction between the sexes seem clearer. Just throwing that out there as a possibility.

So, are women drawn to more manly men? Maybe, maybe not. Personally, I'm drawn to men like the guy who was on "That Seventies Show" whose real name is Topher Grace. Now that, my friends, is the most un-manly name in the world.

Continuing the discussion about men and women

I found the comments on my Nov. 14 post interesting, and I appreciate all comments. I thought you might like to read the original article I was responding to, so here's the link to Independence Daze.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not belittling marriage. In fact, I would quite like to get married myself. But I don't believe I have to be married to be complete. I'd like a man in my life, but I can't make that happen by sheer will power. I've HAD to get along on my own, and this has changed me. I hope that the right man will come along, and I hope I'll be able to let him into my life. Many of my female friends are in the same boat, or at least a similar one. I don't know what to tell them. I hate to be so prosaic, prattling on about marriage and courtship. But hey, it worked for Jane Austen. But she was a genius. I'm just a romantic with an outer layer of cynicism.

Chilling Effect

It's about 12:30 a.m. in Iowa City, and it's the first cold snap. When I ventured out this morning the wind hit me, shot straight through my coat and sucked the moisture out of my skin. The steering wheel of my car was so cold it hurt my hands to touch it. Seasons don't creep up on you in Iowa--they burst through your door like noisy relatives whose very presence sends the cat diving under the sofa.

Journalism school finals are over, the final papers handed in and the office keys returned. I'm one semester closer to my master's degree. I still feel woefully inadequate. And yet, I'm undeterred, perhaps because there's really nothing else I could do. I cannot be a teacher or an accountant or a therapist or a lawyer. So, I will continue to try to be a journalist even if I am bad at it. For me, being bad at journalism is more fun than being good at something else. As Babs sings in "Funny Girl": "I'd rather be blue thinking of you than be happy with somebody else."

It's about 12:45 a.m. in Iowa City, and it's the first cold snap. Everybody says you have to have a thick skin to do journalism. I have a pretty thick one. I think I take criticism well. Or at least I can appear to, which is the important thing. In journalism, being told you suck is part of the experience. Don't worry--nobody's told me I suck, yet. But in this business, there's really no use for anything less than stellar. So I guess I'll get stellar. Slowly.

It's about 12:50 a.m. in Iowa City, and it's the first cold snap. So make some hot chocolate already and get over it.

You Can't Always Get What You Want . . .(sing along now)

So I was reading this article about male/female relationships on the Christianity Today website. The author wondered if women have become so independent we no longer have room for men in our lives. Some men wrote in as well. Their letters seemed to come out in favor of independent women, but I sensed their unease bubbling under the surface. The men said they want to feel needed.

So I pose this question to men: What does that mean? Do you want to be the one to change the lightbulbs? Do you want us to call you if we can't open a jam jar? Would you like to do the dusting? I need someone to do that.

I have to admit this wanting to feel needed business makes my blood a little warm. I've spent a good part of my life wishing for a boyfriend, needing one, but finding none available or willing. So, I did the only thing possible: I learned to not need a boyfriend. And I don't need one. Not really. I can open jam jars and change light bulbs and program the VCR (finally). I know how to deal with a lonely Saturday night. I've learned to have fun by myself watching a movie while trying out a new recipe for spicy mixed nuts. I've also been known to put on a Jimmy Eat World CD and dance around my apartment doing ballet/cheerleading moves.

The author of that article was right. I've lived for one for so long that I don't know if I could learn to live for two. How would I deal with a sudden invasion of my space?

I tried to think of the things I'd need a man for. I'll skip the obvious.

I need someone to compliment me.
I need someone to compliment.
I need someone to make dinner for (but not every night).
I need someone to talk to.
I need someone who likes TV so they will watch with me.
I need someone to laugh with.
I need someone to make me laugh.
I need someone to go on dates with.
I need someone to drive me home.
I need someone who can be a man whether I need him to or not.

I've decided that men who find me or my friends intimidating are shoveling horse****.
They are not the men for us. They obviously aren't used to being around strong women. I NEED someone who can be as strong as me. Which isn't all that strong. Don't worry, boys. We are independent because we have to be. That doesn't mean we don't need you. On the contrary, we need you to be stronger than ever and not be afraid of us. We hate it if you are afraid of us--that's the worst thing.

I'll tell you what we are afraid of. We are afraid that you aren't interested in us. We are afraid of competing with ESPN and Playstation and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. We are afraid you love our bodies and faces more than you love us. I know it's not fair to you. But there you have it--women's deepest fear laid out for you to ponder.

So, boys and girls, any comments? What shall we do about this lack of communication between the sexes? I leave the forum open . . .