So I was reading this article about male/female relationships on the Christianity Today website. The author wondered if women have become so independent we no longer have room for men in our lives. Some men wrote in as well. Their letters seemed to come out in favor of independent women, but I sensed their unease bubbling under the surface. The men said they want to feel needed.
So I pose this question to men: What does that mean? Do you want to be the one to change the lightbulbs? Do you want us to call you if we can't open a jam jar? Would you like to do the dusting? I need someone to do that.
I have to admit this wanting to feel needed business makes my blood a little warm. I've spent a good part of my life wishing for a boyfriend, needing one, but finding none available or willing. So, I did the only thing possible: I learned to not need a boyfriend. And I don't need one. Not really. I can open jam jars and change light bulbs and program the VCR (finally). I know how to deal with a lonely Saturday night. I've learned to have fun by myself watching a movie while trying out a new recipe for spicy mixed nuts. I've also been known to put on a Jimmy Eat World CD and dance around my apartment doing ballet/cheerleading moves.
The author of that article was right. I've lived for one for so long that I don't know if I could learn to live for two. How would I deal with a sudden invasion of my space?
I tried to think of the things I'd need a man for. I'll skip the obvious.
I need someone to compliment me.
I need someone to compliment.
I need someone to make dinner for (but not every night).
I need someone to talk to.
I need someone who likes TV so they will watch with me.
I need someone to laugh with.
I need someone to make me laugh.
I need someone to go on dates with.
I need someone to drive me home.
I need someone who can be a man whether I need him to or not.
I've decided that men who find me or my friends intimidating are shoveling horse****.
They are not the men for us. They obviously aren't used to being around strong women. I NEED someone who can be as strong as me. Which isn't all that strong. Don't worry, boys. We are independent because we have to be. That doesn't mean we don't need you. On the contrary, we need you to be stronger than ever and not be afraid of us. We hate it if you are afraid of us--that's the worst thing.
I'll tell you what we are afraid of. We are afraid that you aren't interested in us. We are afraid of competing with ESPN and Playstation and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. We are afraid you love our bodies and faces more than you love us. I know it's not fair to you. But there you have it--women's deepest fear laid out for you to ponder.
So, boys and girls, any comments? What shall we do about this lack of communication between the sexes? I leave the forum open . . .
